The Losing End
by Mark of the Asphodel
Summary: Tiltyu's having a baby. It's not Azel's. Things get worse from there. But that's okay, because Azel has Lex... for now. Four interconnected stories set in Gen 1 of FE4. Features both het and m/m pairings.
1. Prologue: Little Miracles

**The Losing End**

**(Prologue: Little Miracles)**

I do not own _Fire Emblem_ or any of its characters

This perhaps requires a word of explanation. During my first playthrough of FE4, I was initially charmed by Azel. So cute. So effective. I couldn't wait to promote him. Then, he started to falter in battles. He fell behind and became a frustration, even a liability. So, out of that, sprang a little fanfic continuity I mentally dubbed "Loser!Azel," and these four chapters are based in that gameplay/'fic continuity. The flippant title of this 'fic continuity doesn't mean that these are funny stories- I'm quite serious about some of the themes dealt with here. But I'm not serious about ALL of it in the "this is my SRS BZNS headcanon" sense.

WARNING: Contains and references a variety of FE4 first-gen pairings, both het and NOT het, centering around the trio of Tiltyu/Azel/Lex. But not really Tiltyu/Azel in a romantic sense. Got it?

* * *

_On a ship bound for Silesia_

They said that if he just kept his eyes fixed on the horizon, he'd stop being sick. Try as he might, Azel's attention kept slipping to the gray-green waves, the glittering white caps and satiny troughs, and bile rose up from his stomach to sting in his throat. So it was his own fault, his own weakness, that he was still seasick, and knowing that made him feel worse. Azel rested his head on the rail and wished he could just fall into black unconsciousness and not wake until they reached Silesia.

"Aw, poor thing. Can I join ya?"

"Tiltyu?" Azel opened one eye. He could already feel a creeping warmth in his cheeks at the idea of Tiltyu seeing him like this. "I guess."

"Thanks!" She settled in next to him, elbows propped against the rail. "Yeah, that's better. I made a real mess in the cabin after breakfast this morning. Finn was a sweetie an' cleaned it all up, but I figured I'd better try an' get some fresh air because I don't want t' do that again."

Fresh salt air and the horizon trick must not have worked for her either, because pretty soon she was retching over the rail. Azel wanted dearly to help her, but he could barely stand, and Tiltyu had to tidy herself up when she was done.

"Yuck," she said as she twisted around the pretty silver ring Finn had bought her- not just any ring, but a _magic_ ring worth more than Azel's current savings and Lex's put together. But Finn had made a small fortune playing the arenas in Agustria, and had that kind of money to spend on a wife.

"I'm sorry you've gotten seasick, too. It's the worst thing ever."

"Well, I don't know about _seasick_," she said. "I kind of think it's just the baby."

"Baby?"

"Yeah," she said, and tapped her belly. "Aideen said I'm expectin' a little miracle."

"Wow," said Azel, not knowing what he meant, exactly. Probably something along the lines of _Wow, that's crazy_. He forced his eyes to focus on her midsection, but he couldn't see anything different about it. Then he looked up into Tiltyu's face, at the brilliant smile that flickered for a moment before she put her hands up to her mouth again.

"Ooh. This is no fun."

"I'm sorry," said Azel, though that was the best he could offer her.

"Ya do look awful," she said, and began to rummage around in her coat for a clean handkerchief. "Want this?"

"Thanks."

The little scrap of worn linen had the arms of Freege embroidered in its corner. Azel kept it ready in his hand, but even though his head was spinning, his stomach had quieted down, and he prayed that it would _stay_ quiet.

"I need something t' take the taste of that outta my mouth," Tiltyu was saying. "Wanna come?"

"No, I think I'm better off sleeping for a while."

"See ya," she said, as bright and happy-sounding as he'd ever heard her be.

"Take care," he said, though she might not have even heard him.

Azel sighed and began to haul his nausea-racked body back to his cabin. Actually getting onto his cot seemed like so much effort that Azel nearly dropped down onto the floorboards to sleep. The boards had something sticky on them, though, and so he managed to crawl up on the cot, where he fell into a restless sleep broken by odd, alarming dreams.

He came around to the _thump-thump-thump_ of Lex moving around the cabin.

"Still heaving?"

"I feel like the most useless person ever," Azel replied.

"Naw, that'd be me. Always is," Lex said as he settled down onto his cot. The cot responded with a creak of protest.

Azel once had cherished a little dream that he would marry Lady Aideen of Jungby, and Lex would marry Tiltyu of Freege, and they'd all keep on being friends forever, friends even closer than the famously close Sir Sigurd, King Eltoshan, and Prince Cuan. It seemed like such a _nice_ thing to look forward to. And when none of it happened the way Azel imagined it, he found it easy to blame the war and all the other events outside of their control- certainly, he didn't blame the _people_. He couldn't blame Midayle for capturing Aideen's heart with his unswerving devotion. He couldn't _blame _Finn for marrying Tiltyu because... well, Azel didn't really know what they saw in one another. Maybe that was the problem.

Just because Azel didn't _blame _anyone didn't mean that he felt entirely good about it.

Besides, Finn had been making Azel feel useless almost from the moment they met in Sir Sigurd's camp. Part of it was that Azel had seen the way that Prince Cuan treated Finn and had assumed that Finn was to Cuan what Azel was to Lord Alvis- that is, the younger half-brother that nobody wanted but that existed anyway and had to be handled... somehow. Except that Prince Cuan was a dream of an elder brother, gracious and kind and always looking out for Finn in ways that went beyond anyone's expectations. Cuan worked to build Finn's confidence up, whereas Alvis always managed to knock Azel's confidence down, sometimes in ways Azel even didn't understand. Azel watched this for months and felt rotten, and felt even more rotten when he and Lex learned they'd been wrong about their assumptions and that Finn wasn't Cuan's half-brother at all. Cuan was such a great guy that he was just _that_ kind and considerate toward an apprentice knight who was nobody special. And Azel and Lex watched this, and thought of their own fathers and brothers and of what it felt to be the no-good tail end of a great family and both of them felt _thoroughly_ rotten.

(Azel did sour a little on Prince Cuan's generosity after he noticed Cuan trying to steer Finn into a match with Lady Aideen. It was one thing to compete with people like Jamka the Bandit Prince and Dew the pickpocket for Aideen's attention, and another thing entirely to have Cuan try to rig things in favor of his apprentice. It almost came as a relief when Aideen announced her engagement to Midayle and ended the entire farce.)

The other thing that got under Azel's skin was something he also held against Lex in a way. Finn had a horse, and he was able to charge into a battle and make a name for himself when Azel was forced to creep along in the brush in hopes of catching and finishing off wounded stragglers. Then there was Finn's amazing streak of success in the arena, which got Finn piles of spending money _and _convinced Holyn the gladiator that Sir Sigurd's cause was worth joining, because Sir Sigurd had such impressive and spirited young talent in his party. Azel got laughed out of the arena on his fourth try back in Verdane, and things didn't get much better after that.

But Azel got used to being slow, and being poor, and to not being seen as a hero. He got used to having the ladies of Sir Sigurd's army consider him and then go for somebody else. And then Tiltyu showed up. And in spite of the years of friendship between her and Lex and Azel, she latched onto Finn like ivy on a wall and began having him "escort" her everywhere. Azel would see them walking around, with Tiltyu's silver plume of hair bobbing at Finn's shoulder and a big grin on Tiltyu's face while Finn just looked vaguely uncomfortable, like he'd rather jump in a river and wash Tiltyu right off of him. Azel and Lex agreed that Tiltyu would shortly get bored with hanging out with someone who was quiet to the point of being weird and mentioned Lord Cuan entirely too much when he _did _talk.

Then she married him. And now this.

Azel filled Lex in on the day's revelation, and Lex's eyebrows showed some remarkable curvature as he took in the news.

"Man, the idea of Tiltyu with a kid just seems weird to me. I mean, Lady Aideen kind of always seemed like she'd be somebody's mum someday, but not Tiltyu."

"Yeah. It's just... weird." Azel tried to sit, but the motion made his head and stomach churn in opposite directions.

"Dammit, Azel. Don't puke all over the place again. I've been cleanin' up after you for two whole weeks already."

There was a joke to be made from that, somehow, but the words didn't quite connect in Azel's brain. He pressed Tiltyu's handkerchief to his face, and a whisper of perfume embedded in the frayed cloth pushed his body's demands beyond any measure of self-control that he had.

"Dammit," he heard Lex say again. "Look, I need to get something to clean this up. Don't die or anything while I'm gone."

"I'm sorry," Azel groaned. He lay with his head hanging off the side of the cot, pondering again the depths of his own uselessness. But when Lex returned and came to his side, it wasn't just to clean up the mess. Lex had a little cup of something that smelled like honey and ginger.

"Briggid's been hiding this in her room. She says it's an old pirate remedy for the heaves. I had to pay her in gold for it 'cause she's almost out and she lost the recipe when her crew took up against her... but I think you need it."

"Thanks, Lex. I'll pay you back for it." The thick syrupy liquid didn't taste nearly as good as it smelled, and it seemed to solidify in his throat as he swallowed it, but Azel managed to choke it down.

"You can pay me back by _not doing that again_," said Lex.

In spite of his words, the touch of this large fingers on the back of Azel's neck was profoundly gentle. Azel closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sensation of Lex's fingertips on his skin. It worked a lot better to balance him than trying to stare at an imaginary point on the horizon, Azel decided. He let his head rest on Lex's shoulder as the ship cut through the northern sea on their journey into the unknown.

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Bitter Aloes

**The Losing End**

**Chapter One: Bitter Aloes**

I do not own _Fire Emblem_ or any of its characters.

Rated T for adult themes, if you hadn't already guessed. Same warnings as before apply.

* * *

_Sailane, Silesia_

"C'mon, Azel. We've got to get out of this pit."

It had become common to speak ill of their residence in Sailane, even if the members of Sir Sigurd's army really were grateful to be there, beyond the reach of Grandbell's retribution. The castle wasn't any smaller than the fortress of Evans, but their party was now far larger than it had been during those happy days in Verdane... and it was growing larger by the month. Aira's twins alone made Sailane seem to shrink by half; one twin cried and the other one howled.

"I don't really feel up to it, Lex," Azel said as he closed the tome of wind magic he'd been studying. That he closed it at all said that Azel knew that, one way or another, Lex was going to win.

"Doesn't matter. Aideen says we have to clear out. Tiltyu's going to pop today."

"I bet Aideen didn't say it like that."

"Naw."

"I thought her baby wasn't coming for another month."

"I guess not," said Lex, with an air of unconcern. Babies appeared in their midst and the hows and whys of it all didn't matter to Lex unless he was asked to look after said babies.

Azel didn't feel the same way. Not that he'd obsessed over the dates or anything, but he knew how long it took for a baby to come into the world, and he _knew _that Tiltyu wasn't ready.

-x-

They knew the routine now; whenever one of the ladies went into labor, all the men in the castle, from Sir Sigurd right down to little Prince Shanan, had to clear out and let the women handle everything. Even Father Claude wasn't welcome despite his skill in the healing arts; then again, it wasn't like staves ever helped during childbirth. And Azel was pretty sure that the Father's Valkyrie staff wouldn't be any use, either, if it came to that...

Azel had heard it two ways- first, that men just didn't need to be underfoot during delivery. They didn't know what they were doing and they got in the way. The other, less charitable explanation that the sight of one of their own in travail would make the women want to wreak revenge upon the man responsible, along with anyone else who might be around. Given the level of violence that some of these women could commit, Azel didn't want to find out. So he found himself wandering the snow-dusted streets of the town sheltered by Sailane's fortified walls. Sailane itself might have been comparable to Evans, but after the charms of their previous base in Agusty, its town offered very little in the way of amusement. Azel stared up at strings of icicles and examined cracks in the walls to pass the hours. He circled the entire town, not knowing where Lex and the other men had gone and not really caring.

In time, he found himself back at the castle itself; it might be off-limits to step inside, but Azel could listen in... and listen he did. He couldn't help himself. Aideen and poor Lady Dierdre had wonderful, joyous births for their sons, Azel thought. Aira hadn't made a sound while delivering the twins. Tiltyu was screaming.

"_No! Please make it stop_."

Screaming, over and over again.

"_I can't take this, I can't take this..._"

Azel realized he was biting his nails. When he'd been younger, they'd painted his fingertips with bitter aloes to make him stop that unseemly habit, but here in Silesia bitter aloes didn't grow, and no one bothered to correct him when he misbehaved. He was still chewing on the ragged edges of one fingernail when he reached the chapel doors. Azel would have stopped in there to offer prayers for Tiltyu's safety, but the chapel was already occupied. Azel backed out, hoping he hadn't been seen.

_Finn, I don't want to talk to you right now. _

He was beginning to believe the second explanation for why menfolk got banished from the premises during a birth.

-x-

He should have gone off and found Lex, had some drinks, and forgotten about everything for a while. Azel didn't; he found himself circling back toward the castle, ears attuned all the while for the sound of Tiltyu in her agony. She was still screaming, begging for Aideen or Ethlin or anyone to just get the baby out of her. Azel remembered the story about how Duke Langbart's first wife had died, how they'd had to split her open like a melon so that Lex's brother Dannan could be born. But Dannan was a monster of a baby, ten pounds or more, and surely Tiltyu didn't have anything like that inside of her?

The third time Azel circled around, everything was quiet. Azel stood there in the weak afternoon light, his ears straining for the sound of Tiltyu, of a baby, of anything. Then, in one of those moments where Azel surprised himself, he marched right up to the main door of the fortress and pounded on the wood with his chewed-up hands.

"I want to see Tiltyu."

He was glad the doorkeeper turned out to be Briggid; the former pirate captain still didn't quite grasp all the ways of polite society... and, Azel thought, didn't entirely _care_ for said ways.

"I guess you won't hurt anything," she said after thinking it over for a moment.

Azel shouted his thanks over his shoulder as he ran toward Tiltyu's room. The door was open, the lanterns shining with a cozy glow, but as Azel reached the threshold of the room he noticed that underneath the scent of incense and perfumed candles lay a raw, pungent odor. Tiltyu was propped up on cushions; her hair, limp and damp with perspiration, fell loose around her shoulders. It made her look drowned, Azel thought.

Just the same, her eyes gleamed when she caught sight of him.

"Hey, Azel. What're you doin' here? There's no men allowed in here 'til after sundown."

"I guess I'm just a rebel and a lawbreaker now," he replied.

She laughed, and after all the screaming he'd heard, the sound of her laugh was like a balm to his nerves.

"You're funny sometimes. Hey, ya wanna see him?" Azel hadn't noticed the woven basket beside her until that moment. "We named him Arthur. I mean, that's what we decided we were gonna call a boy."

Azel crossed the room as quietly as he could and then peered into the basket at the sleeping baby. Arthur had puckered red face and a long tuft of hair, so pale it was almost transparent.

"He looks like you, Tiltyu."

"Yeah! I was sure he'd look just like his father." Tiltyu regarded her son with a puzzled sort of expression, like she hadn't begun to figure Arthur out yet. "He's a little small. Aideen said he's healthy, though."

"That's a relief." Azel felt oddly relieved that baby Arthur didn't have a fringe of azure-colored hair, but he wasn't going to say it. "I'm just glad you're all right."

"Yeah, I'm tougher than I look," she said, with another little laugh, but then the corners of her mouth turned down. "I'm kinda sorry he took after me. I didn't want him to."

"What do you mean by that, Tiltyu?"

"I didn't want Arthur lookin' anything like my dad or... or my brother. And now I'm thinkin' that maybe he will."

Azel was searching for the right words to respond to this when a shrill cry from behind made him jump.

"Absolutely no men allowed here 'til after sundown!" Sylvia was being more theatrical than genuinely upset, and she waggled her finger at Azel to let him know he'd been a bad little boy. "Unless you're tellin' me you're not a man. Come to think of it, you and Lex are pretty cute together, so I guess you can stay."

Sylvia was smiling, and behind him Azel could hear Tiltyu giggling, but even the sound of a happy Tiltyu couldn't erase the feeling of shock in his breast.

_Is that really what they think of me? As Lex's... little _woman_? Is that why Briggid thought I wouldn't hurt anything by being here? Is that..._

"I'll leave now," he said, and tried his best to keep the hurt out of his voice. "I was never here. I'll let you all share the good news with... with everyone who needs to know."

He did look back at Tiltyu, though, at her and the baby boy who looked to be a Freege through and through.

"I'm glad ya came," she said, and smiled at him again.

"Anytime," he replied.

_I think I would have loved you, maybe, if you'd given me the chance._

Azel walked past Briggid without a word and stepped out into the red rays of a northern sunset. He didn't even feel the cold on his face; he was too busy measuring the lightning-flash of Tiltyu's smile against the sensation of Lex's tongue at his ear.

_We didn't do anything that anyone else hasn't done. I heard about Sir Sigurd and King Eltoshan when they were at the academy. I heard how Prince Cuan spent his nights before he married Ethlin. I know what he does on the nights she moves in with Aideen every month. _

His hand had formed itself into a fist, and he could feel the heat building up in his palm.

_I know how Cuan occupies his time when he can't be with Ethlin. _

Red light, the same shade as the dying sun, glowed between his fingers.

_I wonder if Tiltyu happily loans her beloved out, or if he doesn't tell her where he's going. That's not so funny, is it, Tiltyu? Not funny in the way I guess I'm supposed to be funny when you see me with Lex._

Azel forced his hand open, and the red light dissipated into the air. It was stupid to be angry. Sylvia told silly jokes and people laughed at them, and that was all it was. No point getting angry about it, because they _hadn't_ done anything that anyone else hadn't done.

He was on the verge of biting his nails again, but this time Azel thrust his hands into the pockets of his robes.

"I'm going to find Lex, and we're going to have a few drinks, and I'm going to forget about this," he said out loud. With head high and hands deep in his pockets, Azel walked off to do exactly that.

**To Be Continued...**


	3. The Clear Path

**The Losing End**

**Chapter Two: The Clear Path**

I do not own _Fire Emblem_ or any of its characters.

WARNING: Some gross/macabre stuff in this chapter. But there's Levin, so that makes everything better, right?

I toyed with the idea of making this a stand-alone story, but I think it holds up better in context of the Loser!Azel stories. A scene between Briggid and Aideen got cut in the editing process, though.

* * *

_Phinora, 761_

They were still innocents. Weirdly, unbelievably so, as Levin saw it now.

"I know it's s'posed to be Sir Sigurd's honor and privilege to address you all, and the fact that he's not up to it right now should tell you something."

One frown. One pair of narrowed eyes. One sucked-in cheek. That was it; the rest of them just waited for him to explain, without even bracing themselves for the worst. Innocents.

"You remember that Cuan and Ethlin said they'd come back with reinforcements after Ethlin had her baby. From what the villagers here in Phinora are telling us, it sounds like they set off to cross the Yied right about the same time we took Lubeck Castle. The reason we haven't seen them yet is that they got intercepted by the same dragonknights we encountered up here."

Jamka got it first. He usually did.

"The ones armed with anti-cavalry weapons?"

"Those guys, yeah," replied Levin.

Now the lights went on in Azel's eyes. His head snapped back and forth as he scanned the faces around him.

"Where's Tiltyu?"

"Sigurd already talked to her in private."

Levin felt grateful that Sigurd, even in his grief, had the discretion to offer Tiltyu that. The rest of them were starting to catch on now, starting to think the unthinkable, that Prince Cuan with his good looks and years of experience _and_ his holy spear might be as dead as Prince Kurth, or Lord Ring or Lord Byron, or King Eltoshan, or Prince Marricle, or King Batou. That spirited Ethlin might be as every bit as dead as Mahnya. Levin wondered that any of them could still be surprised by any degree of bad news. As the storm of disheartened murmurs began to swell, Levin found himself looking at Father Claude, who still had done nothing other than frown over the story. Maybe at least one of them had gotten past the point of ever being surprised, Levin thought as he held up his hand for silence.

"Now, you've got to keep in mind that we don't know that the villagers have it straight. We don't know if that was Cuan and Ethlin, or if there were any survivors and they just decided to go back home. The villagers said that whoever it was marching through the desert had a little kid along with them, and we don't know if that part's true either. We'll send out a party to investigate as soon as we can, but until we get some real facts-"

"What do you mean, a 'little kid'?"

He'd known the ladies would go crazy over that.

"I don't know, Sylvia. We're just going to have to find out. Until we do... try not to say or do anything stupid, all right? Especially around Sigurd, because he's had about as much as he can take."

-x-

Azel didn't even wait for Levin to dismiss them for dinner; he felt his robes flying around his legs as he raced for Tiltyu's room. He was a little out of breath by the time he knocked upon her door.

"Tiltyu? Are you there?"

"Yeah." She opened the door a crack. "We're havin' dinner."

"We" turned out to be Tiltyu and her kids. Arthur was tied into a chair with mashed-up fruit dribbling down his chin, while Tinny rested in a sling around Tiltyu's neck.

"Sorry. I didn't really want t' listen t' Levin's big announcement," Tiltyu said as she brushed overlong bangs back from her face.

"Yeah. I... understand." The pause that followed felt so awkward that Azel ground his teeth. He looked at Tinny, whose lips were glazed with milk, and she blinked her pale blue eyes back at him. "If... if you want to talk about anything, just let me know."

"Yeah, there is somethin'..." There was a heaviness to her tone that made Azel's back stiffen. "Azel... how come this is the first time in months you've wanted t' talk with me?"

_Because you married somebody you'd known for about two weeks, and after that it didn't feel right. Even after he left. Especially after he left._

But Azel couldn't bring himself to supply the answer, and so Tiltyu asked him outright.

"It's not about my father, is it?"

"No, Tiltyu, of course not! Look, Lex is in the same situation as you, and we talk about his problems all the time. And I... I don't know _what's_ going on with my brother. Nobody's holding you accountable for what Leptor's done. Nobody. We're all in a mess."

A mess that went from Isaac to Verdane to Silesia and then back to Grandbell. Not one of them had gone through the past four years without wondering who was who, and what was what, and which side _right_ really was on. At least, Azel couldn't imagine that the rest hadn't wondered about it.

"I was thinkin' that maybe if I stood up t' him, if I took my dad on... that it'd show everyone once and for all that I'm not in his pocket."

Her suggestion, offered so gravely, struck a bolt of cold panic through Azel.

"You can't fight against your father! Aside from the fact that it's wrong, he's got Thorhammer! Leave him to Sir Sigurd or Levin or Briggid. They can take him on. You need to worry about yourself."

His voice had gotten too loud. Arthur stopped banging his spoon and stared at Azel with eyes the same lavender color as Tiltyu's. Tinny sent up a little mewling wail. But Tiltyu didn't seem entirely convinced despite the passion of Azel's outcry.

"Holy weapons aren't everything," she said. "I mean, Prince Cuan had one, too, didn't he?"

-x-

Back in his room, Azel began to pack for the foray out into the desert. He didn't know how long they'd be gone, or what they'd need, so eventually he decided to take just about everything that wasn't fancy-dress or meant for a Silesian winter.

"You goin' out there with Levin tomorrow?"

Lex had a weird undercurrent to his voice that caused Azel to look up from his packing.

"Yeah."

"That takes some nerve," said Lex, and Azel wasn't sure whether he was being praised or pitied. "I'd come along, but me and my horse aren't gonna get far in the sand..."

"You by yourself wouldn't get far. Just your armor alone would bog you down."

"Heh. Guess you're right." Lex's smile didn't go all the way to his eyes. "I wanted to tell you this earlier, but with everyone all upset over Ethlin and Cuan, it didn't feel right. Sylvia's having a baby."

"Okay." Everyone had babies. Aideen, Tiltyu, Sylvia... "Wait, you mean she's having _your_ baby."

"Yeah."

"Since when were you two even... oh, I don't care," Azel said as he slammed shut the packing case. "I'd say I'm happy for you, Lex, but this seems like really rotten timing."

"Yeah. I screwed up. No getting around it."

Azel opened the case again and began to second-guess himself, flinging unnecessary clothing around their bedroom. He kept going even when he felt Lex's presence behind him, and only stopped when the back of Lex's fingers brushed against his cheek.

"Yes?"

"Why're you doin' this, Azel? You don't want to see what's left of Ethlin and her little girl."

"I'm going because if Cuan's out there, then Finn is probably with him. You know that, and I know that, and no one's wanted to say it because of Tiltyu. I want to be able to tell her that... that it wasn't as bad as it almost certainly is."

Lex didn't say anything, but he continued to stroke Azel's face and hair until Azel's head drooped over the disorder he'd made of his packing job. Azel did not cry, for Tiltyu or anyone else; in that moment, he felt too bitter to cry.

-x-

Levin had his party ready to go well before dawn. They wouldn't be able to do much at the height of the day, so they'd have to travel in shifts, going as far as they could before they had to put up the tents and sleep for a few hours. Azel, Holyn, and Jamka all had volunteered for the mission; Fury would serve as their scout, and Father Claude would be there to minister to whatever it was they found. But when it came to departure time, Levin counted one head too many.

"Forget it, Tiltyu."

"I'm goin' with you." She pulled back the hood of her robe and glared at him with pale eyes.

"Did you miss the part where a little kid might've been murdered by Thracians? Get back inside."

Tiltyu didn't budge.

"I got into this mess because I wanted t' help Father Claude. If he's goin'... I'm goin' too."

Levin wasn't prepared for that comeback, and he didn't have one of his own.

"All right," he said, not caring if his words sounded harsh. "Don't come crying to me if you end up seeing more than you bargained for."

-x-

They weren't a talkative crew.

Holyn had the most to say, most of it about better days when they'd been in Agustria, fighting what looked to most of them like a good fight. He'd come along, Levin thought, to see the end of people he'd respected as fellow warriors. Tiltyu stayed mostly with Father Claude, and Azel kept to himself. He looked a little lost without Lex towering over him. Out of respect to the others, Levin and Fury kept up their best professional conduct, speaking to one another as lord to knight in public, and keeping things quiet when they were alone. Levin went so far as suggesting that Fury and Tiltyu share a tent, just like in the old days when all the ladies were unmarried and every guy in Sigurd's army was hoping to get lucky with one... or more... of them.

Every lady except Ethlin, that is. She and Cuan had always been together. Forever and always, inseparable to the last. It didn't really sound romantic to Levin any more, or maybe his ideas on romance had gone sour.

On the evening of their third day out, Fury reported signs of a battle- fallen men and horses- to the southwest, but it took another full day and part of the next morning to get there on foot. Levin and the others stopped to rest in the shadow of a mesa while Fury went out to get them better directions to the place. He scanned the cloudless sky for what seemed an eternity until he caught sight of her, a flash of white against the infinite blue.

"Prince Levin!"

Levin rose to his feet. Knightly reserve or not, he could tell from her voice that something wasn't right.

"You found them?"

"They do appear to be a detachment of knights from Lenster, sir." Fury, ever cautious.

"Cuan and Ethlin?"

"Yes, sir. There was no question about it."

Levin hadn't really doubted the rumors the villagers told in Phinora, but on hearing Fury's report, he felt a dull headache settle in across the bridge of his nose and behind his eyes.

"It's almost noon. We'll wait here a few hours and then head out... unless there's some reason to make tracks?"

"I see no reason for haste, sir."

They looked at one another, and Levin wondered if Fury could hear the message that he was sending her with his mind. _Get out of here. As soon as we're done with this business, take Sety and get back to Silesia. I don't want you to end up like Ethlin._

All he said out loud was, "Okay. I'll brief Father Claude on it."

-x-

What took Fury half an hour in the air took the rest of them three times as long in the slippery sand. Maybe four times. No, maybe six- Fury'd gone out and come back in less than an hour. But they got there; the first thing Levin saw upon the scene was the dark wing of one of the Thracian dragons, poking up from the sand like a sail.

"Looks like Cuan and his men brought two of them down," said Holyn with a trace of grim satisfaction at they took in the sight of the fallen beasts.

"Yeah, but it sure wasn't enough."

Levin saw at once why Fury didn't have any doubts, as the tall man sprawled in the bloodied sand couldn't be anyone _but_ Prince Cuan. Levin knew him by his gleaming chestnut-brown hair and by his clothes; Cuan's killers had left him in his gold-embroidered jacket and all the rest of his finery. They'd taken the Gae Bolg, though- Cuan was unarmed, empty-handed.

"Damn it, Cuan."

Levin felt glad that Cuan's face was turned away from them. Some yards away lay a heap of white armor that likewise couldn't be anyone but Ethlin. Her pink hair was spread out on the sand.

Since there wasn't anything to save or anything to kill, Levin let Father Claude and his "assistant" start on the spiritual end of their work while Azel, Holyn, and Jamka sorted through the rest of the scattered corpses, man and beast. It still surprised Levin that the immaculate high priest had a stronger stomach for confronting truly ghastly sights than did the rest of them. Claude showed only sorrow in his face while he dealt with Cuan's remains, while Tiltyu turned her head, closed her eyes, and alternated between holding her breath and gagging. Levin didn't stop her, though; she'd asked for the job, and he bloody well was going to hold her to it even if it made her sick. Instead, he went to give Holyn a hand in Holyn's task of collecting and handling the fallen knights' weapons.

"I don't see any sign of a little girl, unless they meant Ethlin," Levin said as he salvaged the head of a broken lance. The metal was pristine, like its owner had never even gotten the chance to use it.

"Jackals," said Holyn.

"Or the dragons. Don't they eat people?"

"Maybe," Holyn sounded unconvinced. "It also looks like the Thracians picked everything over. Either that, or Cuan and Ethlin didn't bring their best weapons to the fight."

"Yeah, that'd be crazy," said Levin, just as Azel came stumbling back, his face reddened and streaming sweat.

"He's not here, Tiltyu. That's ten horses, ten riders, two dragons and two dragonknights we've accounted for. Finn must not have come."

Levin watched to see how Tiltyu would react to the news.

"I guess that's good," she said as she wiped her face with one sleeve of her robe. "I really thought he would've come back for me..."

And then she went right back to straightening the body of the dead knight she and Claude were tending to. Levin felt his respect for the Freege girl creep up slightly; she'd always struck him as the type to fly apart at the seams when things got too rough.

Levin thought about joining in the prayers over Cuan and his party, but Jamka indicated that he wanted a word with Levin, and so the two of them stepped back.

"There's a feeling here-" Jamka stopped himself, took a deep breath, and continued. "Does it seem to you that there's something _off_ about all of this? That this isn't just something that happened because that's how wars play out?"

"A feeling that there's something else going on behind the scenes, yeah." Levin had felt it from the instant he saw Cuan didn't have any weapons, as silly as that seemed. Of course the Gae Bolg was a fine prize to carry off, even if no one but a dead man could use it. But still... that detail bothered him. "Claude's picked up on it, too, way before the rest of us did. Almost like this is all going according to some plan no one's told us about."

"_Dew_ picked up on it," Jamka said with a frown. "So what's the next step in this plan?"

"I wish I could tell you." And as Levin said the words, he was haunted by the sense that they weren't exactly his words, that someone else was speaking through his lips.

When the prayers were done and the souls of the dead supposedly sent to rest, the last act of their mission was up to Levin. Everyone else stood as far off as they could while Levin unleashed the full power of Holsety- not against any living target, but against the desert itself. The pale sands glowed green as the divine spell lifted them up into whirlwind that Levin controlled with his will. Or Holsety's will. He wasn't entirely sure. But _someone_ guided the wind and the sands they carried, and the sands settled back down in irregular waves, leaving no trace of the men, horses, or dragons.

"All right," said Levin, as the sky faded back to a dull blue untouched by clouds. "Let's get the hell out of here."

**To be Continued...**

* * *

Lex/Sylvia- one of those things that happened by accident in my playthrough. I appreciated it about as much as Azel did.


	4. The Losing End

**The Losing End**

**Chapter Four: The Losing End**

I do not own _Fire Emblem_ or any of its characters.

* * *

_The road to Barhara, 761_

Another night alone with his thoughts. Which wasn't very alone, Azel decided, as he lay staring at the ceiling of a tent that seemed at once too cramped and too empty. The turn of fortune that greeted them in Freege seemed beyond belief; he hadn't believed it even as the trap sprang upon Duke Leptor before his very eyes, as Velthomer's mages rained down death upon Leptor's men. Was that the end of it, really? An ignominious death and a traitor's burial for Leptor, followed by an embrace of reconciliation for Sir Sigurd and everyone in his party... after they'd suffered so long, lost so much, and been thoroughly dragged through the mud?

And then Azel's thoughts took a darker turn still, as he chided himself for daring to compare his own tribulations to those of his comrades. Others had lost parents, brothers, sisters, dear friends, lovers. But for Azel... well, over the horizon at Barhara, his brother was waiting.

An involuntary shiver ran down Azel's neck as he thought of a reunion with Alvis. Was this really the end of their sorrows?

Then came an insistent rap upon the tent flap, the same signal Lex had used during the years they'd roomed together- from Agustrian palaces to the cramped cabins of ships.

"Hey Azel! You still up?"

"Yeah."

"C'mon out. I gotta talk to you."

Azel put on his cloak and stepped into the starless night. Lex had brought his newly-married wife along on whatever mission this was, which confused Azel.

"Oh, hello Sylvia-"

Lex cut him off.

"Sylvie and I are skipping out on your brother's welcome party. I don't mean to be rude or nothing, but I don't want to show my face around the capital for a while."

"I get you," Azel said, and though he hesitated before saying the words, he'd already accepted the truth of what Lex was telling him. Maybe he wasn't even surprised by it.

"Yeah. I mean, in between me being called a traitor and then my dad being called one, I don't know what I'm supposed to be, but I do know I don't want any of it rubbing off on Sylvie or the kid."

Azel looked from Lex to Sylvia and then back to Lex. They were both already dressed for the road, or as dressed for travel as Sylvia ever got.

"I guess I can't blame you. Where're you going?"

"If I don't tell you, you won't have to lie to your brother about it."

Azel wondered when along their journey Lex had acquired such a grim expression. He looked almost like old Duke Langbart, there...

"Well, I guess that's for the best. Are you okay with it, Sylvia?"

The dancer hadn't been her lighthearted self of late. She seemed subdued, weighed down... both literally, by the bulge in her belly, and by something unseen that took away her sparkle. Now she shrugged and traced one foot in the dirt.

"None of this is what I thought I was gonna get out of life, but I'm okay with it."

"That's great," Azel said. As he watched them go, Azel wondered if she was still in love with Levin. He wondered if Lex knew the extent of her feelings... or cared, if he did know.

He could've gone back to his tent then and tried to catch some sleep, or just stewed for a while over Lex and this latest turnabout. Instead, Azel walked, quite deliberately, to one of the other tents, one that bore a black ribbon of mourning at its entrance. _Fathers, even terrible, treacherous, criminal fathers, are still your flesh and blood, _thought Azel. It relieved him somewhat to know that Tiltyu could make the attempt to grieve for Duke Leptor, even if an _attempt_ was all it might be.

Just as Lex had a coded knock for getting into Azel's room, so Azel had signal for Tiltyu- two quick knocks, a pause, then two more knocks, like the beats of a fluttering heart.

"Tiltyu!"

He thought he heard someone moving inside, and he could see a faint glow of a lantern through the fabric.

"It's me. Azel," he whispered at the flap, as though they still were children sneaking around. "I want to talk to you."

That drew her out, or at least the top part of her, sticking out of the tent-flap like a sea maiden coming from the water.

"You've gotta be quiet. I just finally got Arthur t' sleep."

The daughter of House Freege right then looked like any harried young mother with her flyaway hair and splotches down the front of her dress. Azel stood in the

the clutter of her living space and took in the sight of her children-Tinny tucked into her basket, Arthur curled up in a heap of blankets on the floor. Arthur had a small stuffed toy, a pegasus made out of grubby white plush, clutched in his fist. Azel took that as a sign that he was doing the right thing.

"What's goin' on?" Tiltyu said, in between yawns.

"Fury's heading out for Silesia tomorrow- Levin told her to get out of here. I want you going with her."

"Silesia? What're you talkin' about?"

"I'm talking about getting you as far away from Grandbell as possible."

"Yeah, I'd sure like t' get out." Her eyes, pale and luminous, looked bleak, and Azel thought of the sad-eyed face of the moon. "I don't ever want t' see my brother again."

"And you don't want to live with your father's disgrace, any more than Lex does. That's why he and Sylvia are slipping out tonight."

"Oh," she said, and it seemed to Azel that Tiltyu wasn't very surprised by it either. "Why there? Silesia, I mean."

"Because Silesia's safe. Queen Rahna will help you out and nobody there is going to care that you're Leptor's daughter."

She was biting her lip.

"I don't know. I was gonna go t' Lenster..."

"Did Finn ever send word to you?"

"No." Her front teeth grated across her lower lip as she bit herself again. "I haven't got one letter since we left Zaxon."

Azel saw her wavering doubt and realized that all he needed to do was to give her a push- hard or soft- and he'd get what he was aiming for. He took the soft option.

"He probably doesn't know how to reach you. I bet he's been sending your letters to Queen Rahna, because that's the last place he knows you were at."

"Yeah." A slow-dawning hope lit up her eyes. "That does make sense."

"So you'll go then? You'll leave with Fury tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I guess I don't have anything t' lose by goin' back there." She glanced away from Azel, down at the two sleeping babies. "I think Silesia was as happy as I've ever been, maybe."

"You'll be happy again, Tiltyu," he said, without knowing why he dared to promise her anything so grand. She looked back at him with wide and guileless eyes, eyes of someone born without a shell or a thick skin. Or even a thin skin.

"You've always been so good to me, Azel. I don't know that I deserved it..."

"Don't talk like that. I'm your friend." He managed to say it without sarcasm, without bitterness upon his tongue. "And that's what all this has been about, hasn't it? How far we'll go to help our friends."

"Yeah." He saw yet again the flash of her teeth against the soft flesh of her lip. "D'you think my father and Duke Langbart were really friends?"

"I don't know."

She kissed him goodnight like a friend, a sister, grazing his cheek with her swollen lips. She smelled like milk, he thought.

"I'll see you in the morning," Azel said, and backed out of her tent into the moonless darkness. The roof of his mouth had gone dry, and Azel thought of how prisoners were forced to eat old bread just to see if the crumbs would stick in their dry and guilty mouths. Back in his tent, Azel lay down in his own little space- still too cramped, still too empty- and sank again into the unquiet of his own thoughts. Alone, he thought, but never alone. Barhara was just beyond the horizon, and Alvis was waiting.

**The End**

* * *

Azel's not such a loser after all, is he? He really never was, was he? Yay for the take-charge, lead-from-behind little Velthomer mage.

Since Azel and Tiltyu's canonical Chapter Four and Chapter Five conversations never take place in this continuity, their content was dealt with elsewhere throughout the story.


End file.
